BURDENS THAT EXCEED OUR VOCABULARY. 

There are burdens we can explain.

There are burdens we can describe.

And then there are burdens that exceed our vocabulary.

One morning, Terra got up as usual and quietly knelt by the side of her bed to pray. The words of a popular gospel song kept ringing in her mind:

“Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness, that is who You are.”

Yet she could not move past the phrase, “light in the darkness.”

So she prayed a simple prayer:

“Lord, please let Your light consume every darkness in Nigeria.”

That done, she moved through her morning, running a few errands before returning home. As she prepared to tackle the mountain of chores waiting for her, another song came to mind:

“Jesus, God’s righteousness revealed…”

It was the song This Kingdom. 

She searched for it on YouTube and pressed play.

What followed was unexpected.

The lyrics began to speak directly to her heart.

When she heard the words,

“Jesus, redemption’s sacrifice,”

a painful question rose within her.

“If Jesus is the sacrifice, why are these children still being sacrificed? Why, LORD?”

Then the song continued:

“And this Kingdom will know no end,

And its glory shall know no bounds,

For the majesty and power

Of this Kingdom’s King has come.”

Terra’s heart cried out again.

“Jesus, where are You in all this?”

“How can we sing that Your majesty and power have come when there is so much darkness around us?”

“You are the Light in this deep darkness, yet we still cannot see.”

“Let Your light expose. Let Your light heal. Let Your light guide. Let Your light restore. Let Your light bring life. Let our leaders see. Let the Church see. Let our families see.”

As she prayed, Terra began to sob.

She had deliberately avoided watching the trending videos. She never handled such things well. Yet she did not need to see them. In her mind she could already hear terrified children crying out for their mothers while being shoved around by their captors. The weight of it all became unbearable. Her heart broke.

There were no more words.

Nothing left to ask.

Nothing left to say.

She lay flat on her face before God and began to pray in the Spirit.

Her lament became her worship.

The Spirit brought language to the place where words were no longer adequate.

The burden she carried was larger than any words she knew how to speak.

But she knew God understood every sound she made.

It seemed to Terra that the wicked were getting away with everything.

How could she reconcile what she believed about Jesus with what she was witnessing in her nation?

She believed in an everlasting Kingdom.

She believed in a righteous and just King.

She believed in the Light of the world.

Yet all around her she could see kingdoms of fear, greed, violence, oppression, and wickedness apparently flourishing.

Parents were grieving.

Children were suffering.

The darkness felt overwhelming.

And then she whispered:

“Jesus, whatever happens, I still believe in You.”

“You are good.”

“Your mercy endures forever.”

“I believe in You enough to bring You this burden.”

“I believe in You enough to bring You this pain.”

The bible tells us this:  “And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.”. Luke 1:33 (KJV)

But how do we sing about an everlasting Kingdom when our hearts are breaking over the darkness around us? 

Terra’s heart was filled with grief, longing, frustration and hope all at once.

Like many of us, she found herself carrying more than words could adequately express.

But in the midst of the darkness, another voice was speaking. And she heard it clearly :

“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. His work is evident wherever fear, violence, injustice, oppression, and hopelessness abound.” 

Jesus did not stop at exposing the thief. He revealed the Father’s answer:

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

She heard the voice of the Good Shepherd. The voice reminding her that darkness does not have the final word.

The voice speaking life where death appears to reign.

The voice whispering hope when grief threatens to overwhelm us.

The thief may be active. But he is nit ultimate.

Darkness may be very real.  But it is the Kingdom of Christ that is eternal.

And Jesus is alive and present.

And where He is, abundant life is available.

She got up and wrapped her arms around herself. She had no answers but she knew that it would be alright because JESUS was there.

Dear friend, Terra is every person who is carrying the burden of what is happening in Nigeria right now.

She is:

A mother in Lagos,

An intercessor in Jos,

A pastor in Enugu,

A grandmother in Port Harcourt,

A man carrying a burden before God.

She is every parent.

Every believer struggling to find words.

Every person whose faith remains intact while their heart is breaking.

Our human language has its limits.

But the Spirit of our ABBA does not.

When we become overwhelmed, let us remember that God has provided a language for such moments.

A language beyond eloquence.

A language beyond explanation.

A language for burdens that exceed our vocabulary.

Terra had no answers and neither do I. But one thing I know is that Jesus will definitely have the final word.

WHEN THE BURDEN EXCEEDS OUR VOCABULARY, LET THE HOLY SPIRIT TAKE OVER.

OLUYINKA EGO-MARTINS ©